The Pain Day

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I had a comfortable night. I was looked after by the lovebird nurse who had looked after me the first night after my first hip last year. Hourly observations and a drip running kept me awake a great deal with dozing between. I was gradually aware of feeling returning to my legs and feet, but I had a good dose of diamorphine and then morphine inside me. Trying to use a bedpan in bed with numb everything is quite an experience.

Enjoy it while you can! As the feeling returned so did the pain – and it really hurts – not helped by the pain in my back and being in the same position in the bed for such a long time. By the time my husband came to see me late morning I was sobbing with pain. One of the nurses came past and came to see what was up. She told me that even if I had been told there was nothing else I could have, there was always something they could pull out of the bag – this time it was a full dose of Tramadol IM to get a bigger impact. It did take the edge off, until the physio arrived. Getting out of bed was something I really wanted to do as invariably being up and moving and doing the exercises does relieve some of the tension and consequently the pain, but had me sobbing again as the pain darted through my leg and new joint when I put weight on it. I managed to move to the chair, but this is certainly far from fun, and quite a shock to the system after the spinal.

My surgeon came round and assured me that the x rays I’d had taken this morning were good and show everything to be in the correct place. Apparently, other than the joint he has realigned my knee to its correct position. The bandages coming off 24 hours post op gave some indication as to why it was so painful – my leg is so swollen, my thigh and calf could be played like a drum if it were not so sore, with the skin stretched and shiny around them and pulled so tight that there can hardly be any give left.

My husband and son came back to see me in the evening. I was concerned about my son seeing me like this but he was so caring and thoughtful, coming and taking my shoulder as I cried and telling me he was there for me – absolute evidence to me that those having autism have no empathy is a ridiculous myth concocted by people who have not paid enough attention. My husband stroked my head and arm until I was sleepy and pain relief took the edge off again before they left.

If I could cut my own leg off just now I would – although as the nurse pointed out, the stump would just hurt instead.

A very very bad day 😦 

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