I have been trying to do a bit of stretching and pushing the boundaries each day, to get a bit more flexible and to ease the ache in my back mostly, but today I put on a yoga DVD. I have been doing yoga since I was 7 or 8 and getting up at ridiculous times in the morning and putting on TV. I remember settling down with a lady, who I think was called Lynne, on TV and doing yoga along with her all that time ago in the early 70s and keeping it up ever since. I was pretty flexible, but this is also because I am ‘double jointed’. People always thought my joints were weird (actually people always think I’m weird generally, but that’s another story 🙂 ) I used to sit either cross legged or with my feet and knees splayed outwards like a flat frog, my arms rotate so the elbow can face the wrong way and I have no problem touching my arm with my thumb.

This DVD was one I used to use for relaxation or when I hadn’t done any stretching for some time to get back into it. Usually I ended up adding exercises, repeats and stretches to it. One of the reasons I knew I was having problems with my joints was when I realised that instead of becoming more flexible with exercise any more, it was becoming less, and there were things I simply could no longer do – like kneeling, the triangle and hip flexibility, although I could, and can, bend and touch the floor using my spine. When I went for physiotherapy pre diagnosis they pointed out that I bent backwards and forwards from my spine and not my hips.

I’ve been in a lot of pain with this hip. It all started well and I was mobile enough to get home from hospital a day early. From about week 3 though  have had a sharp pain in my hip, a general ‘tooth-achy’ feeling and also muscle stiffness and soreness far in excess of the first hip. It may be that having a dodgy hip still from my first hip contributed, or that my equally dodgy left knee didn’t help. I do think I should go back to see the GP, but then I’ve been thinking that for weeks now and done noting about it. I don’t like going, I don’t see much point and they don’t make it easy to get an appointment to see anyone so there is little motivation. 

So I thought I’d try the yoga instead. Oh dear! I knew I was going to find it different. Two lots of major surgery, muscles and ligaments cut, joints realigned and no exercise for the last year pretty much. In fact I’ve hardly been able to walk at all except around the house since before last Christmas. My flexibility I suppose is better than might be expected from someone who has had months of sticking to 6 and 12 week ‘rules’ but the limitations were very clear from the start and I felt as though my body was not my own. It was tempting to push into positions and stretches that I knew I could do previously, but that seemed rather reckless and irresponsible, so slowly and carefully and stopping when it felt too much was certainly the key. I only got through the first half too!

Talking of irresponsible – I’m still fairly depressed and rather cross about Craig Revel Horwood on Strictly on Saturday. 5 weeks I think now post op and spinning across the dance floor as though he’s never had surgery. He might already be strong and fit, he may already have very good muscle tone, daily physio, massage and hydro – but to be disregarding everything the rest of us are told are rules to prevent dislocation, not being on crutches for 6 weeks as we are also told – is rather annoying. But worse, is how the rest of us who can barely walk down the street now feel, especially when family and friends see this and wonder what on earth we are complaining about if he can manage that after only 5 weeks. 

The forum has become a bit like this too and I am now reluctant to visit, and certainly not post my feelings. It has become almost a competition in how well everyone is doing, how going to the gym pre and post op helps, how fit we all all – and also lots of non related hip things. While I appreciate the trust of being allowed into the lives of others, there are things eventually that make me think that it is not the supportive space it was and that ‘whinging’ will be seen as just that. Having felt unsupported once I don’t much want to be in that position again.

Additionally, I am having other doubts about the forum and not going there so much. I think there are a few reasons for this. Possibly it is because these things come in waves and so there are now new people supporting their ‘peer’ group if you like – and I pop in just to see how a couple of people are doing, but they are there less and less now. I’m also I must admit a little uncomfortable with the new administration and am watching and waiting to see how things go. My sense of democracy and fairness has been challenged by a couple of people being asked to take over the forum rather than everyone being asked who would like and be able to do it. It is also the people who have been asked that bother me. Firstly I sense that 2 people who are young, male and very much into fitness are going to lead in a very strong way, which is partly a good thing, but also potentially leaves those who are in pain and challenged with their mobility feeling inadequate. I am also uncertain that the attitude as a result is as caring and supportive as it once was. I’m seeing evidence of this already, but …. We’ll see!


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