A case of perspective

Standard

Week 7 – again – well week 20 for the other one. 20 weeks since my first op – Wow! I can hardly believe it’s 7 weeks since the second. It sounds like such a long time, and at 2 weeks I thought this time would never come around, yet here we are.

In some ways this time is as bad as the beginning. There is less pain and more mobility but there is also the expectation that you should be able to do more – or is that just me? I’m not a patient patient. Two paracetamol and a maximum 3 days ill and things should be back to normal! Things are mostly. My husband is back at work full time – has been for weeks – and everything in the house is left to me again. I even had a f2f client in my office yesterday!

The reason it is difficult is that feeling that things should be better. I have a bit more flexibility and, while I’m thrilled I can reach to my ankles to wash and dry, washing my feet and pulling socks on is still a painful challenge. I can stack the dishwasher, put things in and out of the oven, clean the kitchen – mostly, but now I’m off crutches, while it looks better it makes my back ache, then my hip in my groin and before you know it I can hardly move. I can do things, just not very much for very long. The ache, while no longer either arthritic or surgery pain, is still constant and wearing and I really could sleep for Britain given half a chance. My husband looks at me in astonishment when I say I’m tired! He tells me in one breath that I’m doing too much then in the next wonders why I am exhausted.

I have just enough work to prevent me from having an entire day off – although I don’t know what I would do if I took one anyway. I’m bored, but worse, too bored to want to be bothered to do anything about it and too tired to have the energy to concentrate properly on work – which is a problem when you work for other people. I feel bad when I see others saying they are going out and doing all sorts of things and I think I should too. Unfortunately I still can’t drive – too sore – and don’t have the confidence yet to manage on my own if I was out, and don’t have anyone to go with me.

Oh dear – I’m whinging. The intention was simply to make the point that, although things get better all the time, they are not just suddenly ok overnight and that other things take their place. While it is easy to see why you might have problems in the first couple of weeks post op, later there are still issues, but they are less expected by others and more difficult to see, and there is the feeling that really you should be getting on with things by now.

… and while I’m trying to start to lose weight again I seem to manage to be hungry all the time …..

The funniest thing this morning. My mother in law told a friend of hers I would be having an arthroscopy just before Christmas. His comment (he had one himself last year) was – I hope she realises she won’t be able to drive! – my M in L’s response being – she’s just had 2 hip replacements, she hasn’t been able to drive for the past year anyway! – well – 6 months, but you see my point! It’s all a case of perspective.

Now, someone give me the energy and motivation to do these student reports please….

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