24 days

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I’m getting a bit fed up of being dismal, but at least writing it down for myself gets it out there and perhaps clears my mind for other things. Well, that’s the theory anyway.

I’ve been doing too much, but there’s not much of a choice. Wednesday was fun. The shopping was delivered and my son and I were putting it away when the freezer drawer decided to topple over and out spilling the contents everywhere. Of course the instant reaction was to try to stop it – and then the option was to fix it, put everything back, struggle to get the bloody thing back into the freezer at the awkward angles these things are designed to go in at (though oddly not out – hence the falling) – or to let everything in the freezer defrost. Then of course the floor needed re cleaning and in the meantime my son, who has Autism, was having a panic attack because things had gone wrong and broken.

Wednesday afternoon was reasonably fine. It was night time when the pain set in – and yesterday when I could barely move – and today when I’ve given up and gone back to 2 crutches having, I thought, advanced to my stick.

My husband has been back at work full time this week, although it was supposed to be later starts and earlier finishes this week to get things done. Unfortunately with 2 days working away he has had early starts and late finishes instead – which is all very well, except that leaves me with tidying up after breakfast, stacking the dishwasher, washing the other glasses and dishes, doing the washing (basket upstairs) and transferring it to the tumble dryer and trying to sort supper at the other end of the day. Wednesday supper was dragged from the freezer and last night ended up being toast when I’d actually given up and was just going to go to bed instead. The TED stockings went the long road on Monday when I found yet again they had been missed from the laundry and weren’t clean, and then my husband made it into bed before me and they didn’t go on at night either because he was asleep before I realised what was missing. … and then he tells me I’m trying to do too much too soon! Because he is now used to it after the last couple of days, he went to work at his usual time this morning leaving me to finish my breakfast, clear up and find a way to put my own socks on. He has to work I know, but when there he forgets I’m struggling alone at home – and that I am only 24 days post op after my second hip replacement.

I’m not great at asking for help. He said the other day that he was letting me do as much as I thought I was able to to see how I got on. Trouble is I’ll just keep going rather than ask anyone for help, even if I know I shouldn’t be doing it. I’ve been bending, twisting, stretching – all the things I should still not be doing with the hip replacement ‘rules’ just to get things done – for that matter, just to get pillows comfortable in bed, get a quilt over me and get to the loo!

Oh well. On the up side my wound seems to have finally stopped weeping and I’ve left the dressing off. I seem to have finally stopped bleeding, though I’m not counting my chickens. … and it’s Friday.

Not that that matters much. I have student tutorials over the weekend and plenty of email queries I have to deal with. I’m late in doing my other student work this week because I’ve had too many other things coming at me, I have a client email waiting to go off that I can’t quite pluck up the courage and self-belief to send, and today I am lacking the motivation. Possibly something to do with sitting at the dining table crying for an hour this morning and feeling much more as though I could do with someone looking after me just for a little while.

I might just join the cat in bed instead.

 

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