50 uses for crutches Part 1

Standard

50? – Well we’ll see how we get on!

1. Walking – now there’s a novelty! 1 is walking with both crutches forward like an old lady zimmer frame.

2. Walking again – but on 4 points – only 1 of which is lifted at a time – managed 3 days ago on Day 14.

3. Walking yet again – but on 2 points – opposite leg and crutch being lifted and, when I can get the co ordination we’re pretty much there now. The only stopping points are steps, turns and small gaps to squeeze through. Managed on Day 16 – yesterday and now practiced on Day 17 walking around the perimeter of the garden.

4. 1 crutch can flick up another fallen one – which happens all too frequently. I might be walking but I have a knack of managing to knock over one or the other – or both!

5. Lifting clothes from the floor when I am not allowed to bend more than 90 degrees and so can’t reach the floor.

6. Scratching an itchy leg or foot – for the same reason as above.

7. Used as a sort of hockey stick to flick dropped mobile phone (!) along the tiled kitchen floor to the living room where I left my helping hand grabber to pick it up again. It’s a bit tricky to call someone else to help when your phone is on the floor.

8. Used like chop sticks to pick up a bottle of water from the floor – sometimes the only way to get a drink around here.

9. To lever oneself up from bed or chair – especially when you’ve chosen to sit in one which strictly speaking is lower than you should be in.

10. To poke the husband who suggests you might want to get up off your bum and do something yourself! (He was joking 🙂 – but got a poke anyway)

11. To turn on a fan in this sudden heatwave we’re having.

12. To move a box back under the coffee table out of the way.

13. To push down on so I can wriggle bum onto a bar stool which is slightly higher than it could be but would be utterly useless for the breakfast bar if it was any lower.

14. To push down on to get back off said bar stool carefully as it springs back up against sore hip once weight is off it.

15. To pull a cushion under feet when sitting a) to keep feet warm on cold wooden flooring (even in a heat wave) and b) to make comfortable a person with shorter than average legs even when sitting on a chair which is supposed to be too low. You should see how far off the floor my feet are when I sit back in the 40″ off the floor seat I’m supposed to be using!

16. To poke washing into the washing machine before closing the door.

17. To hang helping hand from when moving from one area to another.

18. To take weight off arthritic left hip and especially knee when trying to complete right hip joint replacement exercise regime.

19. To lean on when trying to peep inside parents-in-law’s new Camper Van but can’t actually climb the steep steps to get inside.

20. To lean on to stretch and take pressure off increasing sore bum from sitting.

21. To hang straw sunhat on when not wearing. I can’t tan my legs through these stockings but the rest of me might as well get a little benefit.

22. To turn slowly and safely and avoid twisting.

23. To turn post and push against a hard surface and lift slightly so the helping hand can then get under it and grab it – something it cannot do when items like letters are flat on the floor.

24. To lever up from a seated position (like the downstairs loo) when there is nothing else to grab hold of.

25. To pull items within reach of the helping hand to grab them because they are considerably longer.

… we’re 1/2 way there! 

To be continued …..

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