I haven’t posted for a couple of days because I feel a bit mixed up with lots of things. I’m aware that I have probably upset both my mother and mother in law – and my husband isn’t thrilled either. Everything just felt too overwhelming – the sudden descent into plans to come to look after us all post op, what I would have to do, what it was going to be like – a sort of do this and do that – and it’s not as though I have anyone who can just pop in. We have no family of friends close by so it would be people coming to stay. Then it got complicated with others wanting to come and see those who were staying with me and my husband having to drive my mother 100 miles to meet up with her lift home …………… It felt so out of control and stressful for me that I had a bit of a paddy on Friday and stopped everyone coming.
Having then upset everyone my husband would like to know why can’t cope with people and want anyone around, and why I won’t accept help – this is all another story I think! The result though was that once that layer of worry was removed I suddenly found I had time and space to think about what was actually going to happen to me. A long time ago (and another story) I used to be a nurse in theatre doing anaesthetics, but obviously some of the theatre work I did was orthopaedics. Well, you can probably imagine where we’re going here. It might have been lots of years ago but hips and knees are still in the same places and the procedures have not changed that much. It kept me awake a good deal of Friday night anyway!
I’m also finding more and more this week, I’m getting up in the mornings and I can feel as though my vertebrae hips and knees are – sinking for want of a better word. Even though I stretch them out and try to stand up straight, I can feel something trying to pull me down and over as I get down stairs one at a time and hold onto benches to get around the kitchen to make breakfast. The microwave is definitely higher and further away from me than it used to be!
The owl and the pussycat have turned up. They don’t get as hot as my old heat packs, but they are warm with heat seeping into my joints instead, and they smell gorgeous! One of these will certainly be coming to hospital with me. And my husband din’t have a fit – although he was pre warned. He just knows I’m weird I guess 😉
Today we are going to see some friends for supper. 1 1/2 hour drive for pizza! However, they don’t know about my arthritis yet, never mind my impending block of super dooper new and shiny joints.